LOST!!!!

can sumbody tell me who i m....

this is the worse decision i have to make in my life now...

to continue or to stop n change the dream of my parent that i try to pursue...

i know i have disappointed a lot of people surrounding me especially my mom n dad..

i know i have disappointed my sister...

i know i have disappointed all my BFF...u know who u are,n i want u to know tat i love u all so much!!!!Xox0

i need a break for myself now n think real deep on wat i m doing...

maybe,business is not my stuff...

but,i TRIED...

my father has been giving me chances one after another..

i know he wanted me to finish my foundation badly..

he didn't tell,but i know he is...

i just cant take things for granted anymore...

i take everything in my life easily...

everything...everything is easy to me..

it seem to be tat i own the world..

i just cant afford to see the tears on my mom cheek anymore...

n i know i hurt her so much..

m so sorry my mom...

i just cant afford to see the cool expression of my dad that he seem to be hiding his sadness n i know i have disappointed him one after another...

m so sorry my dad...

my tears fall n my heart hurt real bad when i type this n i know the pain that my mom withstand is 1o time greater than mine...

m so SORRY.....

m so speechless...

m so lost...

i just wanna go home....

signing off with TEARS..........................

Friends

friends..

the words tat carry a real deep meaning to me..

since small,i have a lots of friend tat we spend most of our time together

some of them are like my sibling. this is because, we have been together since kindergarten till now..we never lost contact with each other...n i hope it will last forever...

when i was younger, i have a thought tat a friendship will not last forever..

but as time pass by, i realized that a friendship can be treasured to become immortal...

with trust,love n sincerity..

me n my friend has become brothers n sisters...

to describe it..

imagine a tripod..

where ther is 3 stick..

each of the stick need each other in order to remain standing..

if one of the stick break from the bonds..

the tripod collapse..

to my friends tat are reading this..

i really appreciate every one of you..

i love every one of you..

FRIENDS are one of the greatest gift to me...

n i cant afford to lose anyone of u..

specially for my sis...

to my lovely sis..

i want to let u know tat how much i love u n how much i care about u..

i know all this while u r the one who take care about me..

maybe my attitude made u feel abandoned by me..

u know rite,it is hard for me to express my feeling to people..

i try to show my action n my effort but it always end up people dun realise it..

i will try my best k..

watever i did, i did not mean to do so..

m so sorry if i ever hurt u my dear sis..

i love u..

n i wonder how i m suppose to live without yor presence in my life...

why..

i stood in a corner of my room..

i start to think why...why...n why...

why i m unable to forget the love i planted earlier?

why i m born with a heart tat only can fall in love with only one girl?

why i m so touching rite now?haha..

why i suddenly think of her again so badly..

i know watever i try to do rite now seems meaningless..

but,love is not all about being together n be in a relationship where we holds hands,kiss n so on..

it is also about how u care about her,how deep u understand her,wat she like the most,wat she dislike and so on..

the most important thing,dun ever try to change her..like her n love her the way she are...

i do believe in faith..

the faith that we share..

birthday,the numbers we have in common tat is important to u n me..

506..

28 jun..

i wrote this is not to confess or wat...

i just feel relief when i express it all out here..

just want to let u know..m not player by any mean..

m close with many girls,but i dun have any intention..

once i m falling for sum1..it will take a very long time to recover..

it is hard for me to forget it just like tat..

now,we are BFF n i hope it will lasts forever..

i like the way u are..n i love u as my best friend..

i hope u will be happy always..

love all my BFF..

u know who u are, n please dun feel threaten with my blog...haha..

it is just a thought that came from my heart..

we learnt...

I have learnt a lot about life..

I learnt a lot from my parent..

I love my parent so much..

they taught me how to become a real person..

they are like friends to me..

no secret between me n my mom n dad..

ask adwa..she knows how i communicate with them..

to yatie..

i just read yor blog..

wat a lame BF u had..

but it is ok..

at least u r not suffering no more for him..

if not,the feeling of love,missing him will only brings u sadness..

now,with no burden in yor back..i hope that u can concentrate more on study and yor live there k..

to adwa

i miss u la...u have been missing those days..

inactive in facebook,on YM..

i know u are unwell n i hope u will get well soon k..

sunday of my own...

just woke up for the perfect sunny sunday...

my watch showed 3.15pm when I woke up up..

waw...tat was a long sleep after staying up for more than 30 hours the earlier day..

i just follow up with yatie n adwa blog..my BFF..I love them..n i know they love me too..haha

to yatie,

life goes on dear...everything that happen in this world,have a reason behind it..somtimes,truth really hurt our feeling..but it is better than a LIE...whatever happen girl,u must know that we will always be there for you...far or near..

to adwa,

i know it is hard for u to forget the memorable past..

but, i believe tat as time pass by,u will be able to get used to it...

my sunday was bored..

no plan...

just online..

Marathon without sleeping...

this morning after i finish typing my blog-i can live without u..

i cant sleep after that, i stay awake until i was invited to go for Futsal in UKM,Bangi..

the message was from natasya, i think again whether i m fit enough for the day...

i decided to go..

time pass by..

match-by match..

n i have been awake for 24 hours without any sleep..

the match end at noon..

they have a plan where there wanted to go for a walk at mall..

so,we went to Sunway Pyramid..

spent few hours there..

n we hit the road again around 8pm...

i had clocked 30 hours without sleeping or even a nap..

n now,here i am..

exhausted n i need a long sleep...

haha

tiring n exhausting..

but, it was a memorable day we spent together..

study....

study..

study..

study..

this words is the only words that can caused me headache for whole day...

to my dad n mom..

i know i m being stupid for not concentrating on my studies...

i know i m being playful..

i know i m being ungrateful..

i m really trying hard to overcome this problem..

i m not blaming anybody for this..

i just dunno how to overcome it..

i have made a promise to myself..

i will finish my foundation real soon..

i dun want to stay behind my friends..

to my friends..

i love u all so much!!

thanks for giving me the support all this while..

i may disappoint u all, but i really didnt mean it..

i just cant help it..

but i promise, i will finish it soon..real soon...

to myself..

wake up ardi..

wake up!!!!

i can do it..

i can live wihout u...

it is 5 in the morning and i am still awake because of my ex-girlfren

is keeping on sending me messages...

keep on calling me..

give me a break girl...

i need to sleep la...

u r the one who left me..not me!!

u r the one who caused both of us become like this..not me!!

u r the one who said u found a better one..not me!!

u r the one who said i am just a small kid(not matured)..not me!!

u r the one who said u are too dumb to left me before..not me!!

u r the one who said u missed me badly..

u r the one who said u really love me..

everything...

everything...

is all said by u....NOT ME!!

after all the problem u create..

now, u want me back because after u get dump by other guys that u thought was better than me..i told u before,i m sincere n i wont let u down...but u said i was only playing words just to get laid..

3 years girl....3 years!!!ask yorself,have i take advantages on you??have i take anything from you??

if i really wanted to tat time, u know i could rite?at that time,u was melts with my words...but still, i dun do it..because,at that time,i really love you...

still,u left me behind with a lame reason...

now, u may cry,u may regret..

but,the scars u left in me will never disappear..

i m sorry....

u can say i m cruel,m evil,m etc..

but u started it..u end it...

i can live without u...

hope u are reading this............

my love life...

girlfriend...

in high school,

seriously, I have only 1 girlfriend,she was my first,she was my everything n she was the reason why I am like this now..I have not change in my attitude,way I dressed and so on...the only things that have change was the perception of me to a girl..

before this, when I was with her where I was 16..

it was all happy time, great time, pleasure time...

until september 2008...she left me!

no probs, m cool bout it..

but the impact she leave on me was real great..

in college,

no girlfriend, but I have gain a lot of BFF

they are my everything here..

they take care of me just like they take care of their sibling..

i just wonder how lucky i am to have them..

in college,

fall in love once..

with..

my BFF know who she was..

i got rejected..

muahahahaha..

but she is one of my BFF..

although i got rejected,

guess wat,

both of us get more close than before...

plus,i got to know one more girl..

haha..

tat is the reason y i m single till now...

i just dont want to get into relationship n abandoned them..

i will be in love,if that girl is one time better than my BFF now..

start blogging...

it is my first time blogging..

I never even think of blogging before,but after reading

a lot of blog of my friend..

my heart tick n I started with this blogging thing..

i will be writing a lot of things tat happen to me n the thought I have

within my heart that I cant express by mouth..